February

February is not just Black History Month. It is also a month when love is celebrated on Valentine’s Day. That is why I want to discuss heart health, not just from a medical perspective, but let’s also explore relationships that keep our heart healthy. Why are relationships important to heart health? Simply put, being in a bad relationship can cause stress that is not good for your heart. That is why we want to evaluate different kinds of relationships to weed out the ones that are causing us undue stress.

Of course, when people think of heart health, they immediately think of it from a medical perspective. We hear about heart healthy diets. Cheerios® promotes heart health with their cereal options. Quaker® advertises heart health with their oats options (to make oatmeal).

With my CAD (coronary artery disease) diagnosis, I am paying more attention to my heart health. I watch what I eat to ensure I am consuming smaller amounts of sodium, cholesterol, and saturated fat. I avoid high fructose corn syrup and limit my carbs per meal to 45. I work to increase my potassium, protein, and fiber with each meal and snack. All of these things are good for my heart health from a medical perspective, but what else can be done to ensure a healthy heart? Drop us a comment and let us know if you have any heart-healthy food choices.

Now that we have the medical perspective down, let’s talk about relationships and how they affect our heart health. Are you surrounded by healthy relationships? This can be a parent/child relationship, a coworker relationship, a marriage relationship, a family relationship, a boss/subordinate relationship, a friend relationship, or a spiritual relationship.

Thinking of a parent/child relationship, do you share open communication with your parents and/or children? A parent telling their children they can talk to them about “anything” can reflect a healthy relationship, especially if the parent is being truthful and the child believes them. On the flip side, is there a lot of arguing or disrespect between the parent and the child? This can reflect an unhealthy relationship that can be damaging to your heart. When a child or parent feels like they are not being heard, it can cause undue stress. When a parent or child is feeling disrespected, it can cause undue stress. If there are more days WITH issues than days without, it can cause stress levels to build and damage the heart muscle. Can you relate? Drop us a comment and let us know your experience.

Thinking of a coworker relationship, do you have anyone at your job that you can confide in because you both are in the same boat? Do you practice team-building exercises that develop close-knit relationships? We all have a job to do and when we are housed in cubicles and experiencing the same activities, it can be good to have someone to talk to about it. These are examples of heart healthy relationships. Thankfully, I have been fortunate enough to have experienced this in most of my job roles. On the flip side of that, do you have coworkers that are conniving and deceiving who are going out of their way to cause you stress? Unfortunately, I have also had experience with this. I was in a meeting once where I was almost physically attacked by a person who felt threatened by me. I was an outside consultant, and this person was on the client team. Granted, this person was way more stressed than I was, so her heart was in more danger of being damaged than mine. Her boss apologized to me later because she was clearly in the wrong. However, I can imagine that was more of a positive experience than what a lot of people in that situation go through. I tend to lean more towards the philosophy of “Can’t we all just get along?” I have heard a lot of people say they are not at work to make friends. While that is true, we have to remember that we should not be there to make enemies either. We all have a job to do. We need to do the work and be nice to people. A smile costs you nothing and it goes a long way.

Thinking of a marriage relationship, we need to have an idea of how things will go before the relationship gets this far. I suggest pre-marital counseling. I know an excellent counselor/team who can get everything out on the table before you make this big commitment. Too many people are getting divorced because they find out too late some things they should have known beforehand. A disagreement here and there between spouses is not the end of the world. Your heart will not be damaged from it. However, if you are arguing every day or every other day about little things, you are chipping away at your heart muscle with the constant stress. On a good day, a marriage relationship can be very beneficial to your heart health. Some people say they are so happy their heart could burst. While that is a very graphic depiction, it is far from the truth. You can strengthen your heart with any good relationship. I believe this to be even more true with a marriage relationship because of the connection you feel with another person. It is so rewarding that you want to commit to a lifelong relationship. God did not create us to be alone in this world, and His Word says that he who finds a wife finds a good thing. Drop us a comment and let us know if you agree.

Thinking of a family relationship, we are looking at siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Needless to say, we typically cannot pick our family. Of course, that is not true in an adoption situation, but I am hoping in those cases the relationships are a lot better. After all, people have to be approved before they can adopt someone, right?

Let’s get back to the other family relationships. It can do one’s heart good to have at least one family member to call on when a stress release is needed. This can be the stress of getting something of your chest, the stress of trying to make a decision, or just the stress of being bored. It is even better when your whole family is so closely knit that you all band together in times of trouble. There is something to be said about, “the more the merrier.” Personally, boredom has never been a problem for me. Either I am always too busy to get bored, or when I am alone, I can easily entertain myself. These both can lead to a healthy heart.

On the flipside, if you have a family that always seems to be at odds, or very dysfunctional, not getting along, family members who are always competitive, it can cause a lot of undue stress. You want to avoid them, but there are family functions every year that you fell the need to attend just to say you were there. That is no way to live, and your heart can be damaged by it. Sometimes this can cause a person to start their own family, getting into relationships for the wrong reasons and in the wrong way. When this happens, the cycle of stress and an unhealthy heart continues.

Thinking of a boss/subordinate relationship, it has been my experience in corporate America that being friendly with your boss is a rare, if not nonexistent, relationship. In most cases, I never personally met the CEO of a corporation. I suspected that was a good thing. It was enough to deal with my immediate boss without going up the chain of command. However, in my last job, I worked for a small business and saw the CEO on a daily basis. That was very different. I attended weekly meetings with him and was able to provide input on the operation of the business. That was the difference of being in a leadership role in a small business versus a global corporation. Whatever kind of boss you have, the relationship can affect your heart health. Working for someone already has a level of stress because you want to do a good job and impress the boss. You want to make sure you are doing what is needed to keep working and not get fired. However, when you have a boss that is overworking you, and making you do his/her job, and taking all of the credit, that adds another level of stress. If you have a boss that is never satisfied with your work after you follow their instructions to the T, or they are going out off their way to make you fail in their efforts to have you fired, that is a very unnecessary level of stress that can negatively impact your heart health. Sometimes a boss will do this if they feel threatened by you and fear that you will be promoted over them because you are getting recognized by the higher ups while they are not pulling their own weight. You are blessed if you have a boss/subordinate relationship that has mutual respect. The best boss is one who makes an effort to help you excel. It is your job to make them look good to their boss, but it is their job to prove they have good leadership skills. A sign of good leadership is when the subordinates want to follow the leader and the leader is grooming their subordinate(s) to be elevated to their level or higher. That is a heart healthy relationship.

Thinking of a friend relationship, there are many ways a friendship can go. There are dependent and co-dependent relationships. Some friendships have a mooch, while some have a control freak. None of these friendships are heart healthy. Surround yourself with friends who honor a give-and-take relationship. Find friends who have your back when needed and friends you can support without regret. A heart healthy friendship is one that does not stress you out.

Thinking of a spiritual relationship, I saved the best for last! There is nothing more rewarding than having a spiritual relationship with God and with God’s people. This is the only kind of relationship that does not have a negative impact on your heart. I am not talking about a pretend relationship where you say you know God or you are a child of God, but you don’t spend any time with Him. I am talking about a real relationship with Jesus Christ where you have made an effort to know Him. He already knows you, so now it is your turn to get to know Him. In a natural sense, you cannot build a relationship with someone if you know nothing about them. You cannot build a relationship with someone if you never spend any time with them. A relationship with God is the same way. You have to get to know Him by studying His Word, by talking to Him and learning His voice when he talks back to you. You need to spend time with Him in prayer, praise, and worship. When you build your relationship with God, He will bless you with peace that passes understanding, joy that gives you strength, and love that is everlasting. This makes your heart very happy and healthy.

You should also build spiritual relationships with like-minded people who have a real relationship with Jesus Christ. They have the mind of Christ, loving God and loving people. Do not try to build a spiritual relationship with someone who has no interest in building a relationship with Jesus. This will cause you to be unequally yoked and it will lead to an unhealthy heart. You need someone who can pray with you, study God’s Word with you, praise the Lord with you, and worship God with you so you both can have a healthy heart.

I hope this message was helpful. Take care of your heart. Happy Valentine’s Day! Join us next month when we talk about nutrition.