Welcome back! In our last episode, we talked about Connections. Today I want to talk about a more specific Marriage Connection. I want to apologize in advance for anyone offended by the bible, but if you have been following me for a while, you should already know the bible is the source of my character. So, I’m just gonna jump right in!
The book of Genesis chapter 2 tells us what we need to know about making the proper marriage connection. I will break down the following verses (thanks to my awesome Pastor William Eakins):
First, God prepares the MAN for marriage since he is supposed to be the head of his wife and leader of his family. Yes, some people don’t agree with that, but that was God’s perfect order from the very beginning… I am a woman and I am perfectly fine with my husband being the head of me, as long as God is the head of him… It becomes a problem for the wife to follow the husband when the husband is not following Christ! Once again, that was the perfect order of God from the very beginning!
In Genesis 2:15, the first thing God did is give man a place in the Garden of Eden where he could be productive. God gave man a job before he gave him anything else. Man’s productivity will determine if he has established a place in society. A man needs to be productive before he is ready for a relationship.
In Genesis 2:16-17, God gives the man one rule to follow. A man should have an understanding of God’s principles, which are rules/laws that govern the man’s behavior, whether good or bad. Simply put, a man should have a basic sense of morality and integrity. A man should have lines drawn in his life, lines that he is not willing to cross, no matter what. For example, a man should have a line drawn that says he will NEVER hit a woman, no matter what she does to him, because God made man to be stronger than a woman physically and on average, a man can do so much more damage to a woman than she could ever do to him. Another line that a man should have drawn is one that says he will NEVER cheat on his wife (commit adultery). Now, I did not say girlfriend because another line the man should have is that he will not have sex before marriage, which is the well-known sin called fornication… moving on…
In Genesis 2:18, God begins to THINK about how the man has great responsibility and will need some help that is suitable for him. However, at this point, God has not yet finished preparing man for a relationship.
In Genesis 2:19-20, God gives man a sense of purpose by assigning him a task to complete. He was required to name ALL of the animals God had created. Purpose is known by what it impacts. Purpose defines things that are around it. If you are not having an impact on something, you are not serving a purpose.
After the man established his place in society, drew some lines that he will not cross, and developed a sense of purpose, God said the man was ready for a relationship.
In Genesis 2:21-22, God makes the man less that what he was by taking a part of him away (his rib). This made the man incomplete. However, God takes the man’s rib and makes a woman, then gives her to the man, essentially giving him his rib back, so now he is complete again. That is what the marriage connection is supposed to do; it should make you a whole person (complete you).
In Genesis 2:23-24, we begin to see what makes the marriage connection successful. First and foremost, a successful marriage needs unity. Notice how the bible talks about flesh and bones (body) and becoming one flesh. We are all 3-part beings (body, soul, and spirit). Side note: by comparison, God is a 3-part being as well (Father, Son, Holy Ghost). I just love that! Back to what I was explaining… Our spirit is what connects us to God. Our soul is what makes us uniquely ourselves. Our flesh is what enables us to interact with this physical world. When the husband and wife have a solid marriage connection, they should be able to interact with this physical world as one entity. They should be on one accord with decision making and navigating this crazy world that we all live in.
Last, but not least, Genesis 2:25 tells us that for a successful marriage there needs to be transparency. The bible says the husband and wife were both naked and not ashamed (before God). A marriage connection should not have any secrets, nothing hidden. Each spouse can see all that the other is about. I saw where someone asked a question about whether a boyfriend/girlfriend should have access to their partner’s cell phone. Well I say that is a question that needs to be asked if they are planning to be married. If there is a problem now, there will definitely be a problem later…
There were simpler times in the bible days, which did not require in-depth analysis before choosing a spouse. However, in today’s society, a man and woman considering marriage need to carefully discuss the following topics with complete honesty:
- Spiritual aspects of your relationship (a Baptist and Catholic may not mesh well)
- Social aspects of your relationship (who you hang out with and when)
- Financial aspects of your relationship (where your money will be spent)
- Sexual aspects of your relationship (set expectations to avoid disappointment)
BEWARE: Even when you follow these guidelines and have a solid connection, outside influences can kill a relationship if you are not careful! That is what happened to Adam and Eve in the very next chapter (Genesis 3) where Satan broke the spiritual connection that man had with God, and made the man throw blame at his wife for his own mistake. (Genesis 3:12) That’s a whole other topic…
I hope this was helpful to you! Until we meet again, I pray blessings for your life!